Jill: "I just don't understand the attraction golf holds for men."

Mary: "TELL me about it! I went golfing with my ex one time, and he told me I asked too many questions!"

Jill: "Well, I'm sure you were just trying to understand the game. What questions did you ask?"

Mary: "I thought I asked legitimate questions - like, "Why did you hit the ball into that lake?"

A hotheaded golfer with a penchant for breaking clubs was playing one day, and comes to the 16th hole, where he faces an approach shot across a ravine.

He says to his caddie, "What kind of distance do I have, son?" and the caddie replies "About 135, sir."

"8 iron please," said the hothead, and his caddie replied,

"It's either going to have to be 3 iron or 3 wood, sir. That's all that's left in the bag."

Did you hear (insert name of golfing buddy here) broke his arm at the golf course yesterday?

Yeah, he fell off of the ball washer!!!

"Golfers are people who yell fore, put down a five on the scorecard and it should be a six."

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing.

The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.

The instructor then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room really got quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. "Yes?" replied the instructor.

"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

After the best score ever, the old golfer was driving home when he was stopped by what appeared to be a rookie police officer. Here's what happened next:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI after my last 19th hole.

Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the registration in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes, sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk with my golf clubs.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

The officer immediately called his captain for help and the golfer's car was quickly surrounded by police. The captain walked up to the golfer's window:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is.(It was valid)

Captain: Who's car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration. (The driver owned the car).

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it, only my spike wrench and spare cleats. (Sure enough, there was only the cleats and wrench).

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? My officer told me there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. (Trunk is opened; no body).

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body stuffed in the trunk with your clubs.

Driver: Yeah, and I'll bet that lying jerk told you I was speeding, too!

A golfer hit his ball into a ravine. His buddies heard `whack, whack, whack' on and on, until finally he got the ball out.

His buddy asked, "How many strokes did it take you to get out of there?"

He said, "three", but his buddy said, "I heard seven."

His reply was, "Four of them were echoes."